I observe myself.  I realize that it's not my

father's death that hurts me. 

We lost each other years ago. 

I broke up with my father in 2006, but I've

been seeing him regularly again since 2019.

We never spoke to each other again about

what happened back then. I didn't want to

rekindle the old argument.

What really hurts me is that we have

remained strangers to each other all our lives.